Kate's heartache
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: When something bad happens in Beckett's life, Castle shows her that he isn't always sarcastic wit and insane theories, but he can be there for her... but what happens when Beckett realises she depends on Castle FAR too much. NOW a multi-chap
1. Bad news

_A/N: I was reading some FF and I realized that I have never done a MOMENT just for the sake of a moment, when it came to CASKETT, so… here it is. Enjoy ;)_

Beckett's face was white when Castle walked into the bullpen, and he seemed to stop mid-walk, staring at her as he tried to find a logical reason that her face looked as pale as a ghost. He found his footing a moment later, and rushed to her side.

"Beckett, what's wrong?" he demanded.

Beckett only stared blankly at him. He wasn't even sure she was seeing him. It looked like he was transparent from the way her eyes bore through him, as if he wasn't there. Instantly, he was concerned. "Beckett, are you alright?"

She said nothing.

Castle looked up to find Esposito and Ryan crossing the bullpen.

"What's with Beckett?" he asked his eyes shifting between her and the boys.

"Beckett," Ryan addressed. "I'm gonna take you home, okay?"

She seemed to shift her gaze toward him, but her eyes were still unfocussed.

"Is she okay?" Castle demanded. His breathing started to heighten as he waited to be told she had been put through some crazy gunman's insane "playtime".

"No," Esposito shook his head. "Her father had a heart attack."

"Oh God," Castle's hand went to his mouth in shock. He knew that after her mother's death that her father was the only family she really had, besides the boys, which he knew were like her brothers. His heart tugged. It must have been the end-all for Beckett, he thought.

Ryan pipped in. "He's in critical condition," he explained.

The air seemed to exit his mouth instantaneously. "He's alive?"

Esposito nodded quietly.

Castle looked to Beckett. "Oh, Kate… everything is going to be okay." He didn't know if it was or not, but he was always a glass-half-full type of person. He needed to leave her with hope.

"Come on," Ryan gently touched Beckett's arm and began to steer her towards the elevator.

Castle felt the need to take over. He needed to make sure that his partner was okay. It was his responsibility to make sure that she got through this unscathed. "Ryan," he said. "Can I- I'd like to take Beckett home, if that's okay?"

Ryan glanced at him skeptically. "This isn't a time to take advantage of her, Castle… you know she-"

Castle, with his dead serious face expression, shook his head. "Respect, guys, I promise. I won't do anything stupid. I just want to be the one to…" he couldn't put his feelings into words. He just knew that this was his job, and he didn't want to let Kate down. Besides, he had Gina.

The boys nodded, and Ryan handed Beckett over to Castle. He took his place, taking her arm and guiding her towards the elevator. Beckett said nothing as they walked to the elevator, and then outside. Castle hailed a taxi and ordered the driver to Beckett's address. When the taxi pulled up to the curb, Castle paid the driver, and then gently took her hand, and led her upstairs to her apartment.

Castle managed to find her keys in her bag, when Beckett made no move to open the door.

He led her to the couch, and sat her down.

"Kate…" he said quietly. "Everything is going to be okay," he told her again.

Finally, she turned her eyes to him, and this time instead of seeing through him, she was looking at him. "If he dies Castle, I have no one."

Castle couldn't resist the urge to stroke her cheek, as he looked at her. "That's not true," he whispered. "You have Ryan and Esposito and Captain Montgomery… and you have me, Kate. Like it or not, you're stuck with me. You are a part of my family now…"

Beckett managed the smallest of smiles. "That's sweet, Castle."

He shrugged. "It's just true."

Beckett's cheeks reddened and Castle felt like he had made a difference, as small as it was, he had made her smile.

"Where's Josh?" he asked feeling the stab in his chest at the mere mention of his name.

"Working… riding… I don't know," and she didn't seem to care.

"Can I get you something?" he asked gently.

Beckett blushed again and her voice lowered considerably. "Can you just… you know, will you just- oh god," she was certainly embarrassed by the request. "Can you hold me?"

Castle nodded and without making a stupid sly remark, he pulled an arm around her shoulder and folded her into his arms, allowing her to lean in and rest her head on his chest. "I can do that," he whispered. Castle could smell the cherry shampoo, and he sighed inwardly. It felt damn good being this close to Beckett, but he wasn't about to ruin it all with hormones.

He kissed the top of her head, and closed his eyes.

_I hope you liked that little bit of awww… I didn't want to make it anything but a moment where he is there for her. =D I have every intention of this being a one-shot, unless of course there is inspiration and requests wanting more… ;)_


	2. Hospital Room

_A/N: I felt the need to write a second part to this story, not only because I got the encouragement, but because LUCKY pointed out something that I should have thought of. This will be a two-shot now… I hope it fixes the mistake and is still enjoyable. =D_

After Beckett had enough of being held by Castle, she stood from her position on the couch, and began pacing the room. The receptionist who had called had told her that visiting hours were over, and Beckett would not be allowed to see him until the morning, and suggested she go home and rest, but as she paced the floor she felt the urge to run.

Beckett was never one to listen to someone else's advice. She played by her own rules. Why should this be any different?

"What's wrong?" Castle asked, knowing there was more on her mind than fear of losing her father.

"I have to go to the hospital!" she stated.

"But they won't let you see him, the visiting-" he reasoned.

She snapped her eyes on him. "I don't care. I just can't stand being here. I need to be with dad, even if I'm sitting in a waiting room all night. It doesn't matter," she insisted.

Castle stood from the couch. "Okay, come on… I'll wait with you."

Outside, they hailed a taxi and Castle directed the driver to the hospital. Beckett almost ran down the hallway when the cab pulled outside the emergency room doors. He was only a few steps behind her, and when she approached the counter to speak to a staff member, Castle rested his hand on the small of her back, hoping to bring her some measure of comfort.

"My father… he…" incoherently she gave the receptionist the details of her father, and the woman informed her of the visiting hours. "I just want to see him?" she begged.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but the doctors are closely monitoring him, you have a good team making sure that he has every chance possible," she responded.

Beckett slammed her hand on the counter loudly, making the woman behind the desk jump.

"Kate," Castle warned. "Come on…" he urged taking her hand. "Let's go sit down in the waiting room."

Beckett tried to fight him, determined to see her father. She wanted to make sure that if anything happened to him, he knew he wasn't alone when he died. If something happened to him, she needed to be at his side. But Castle's persistence wore her down. The doctors would not let her through the doors, and at least she was close by if he asked after her.

Finally, she slumped down in one of the plastic chairs.

"Do you want a coffee?" he asked gently.

She shook her head.

"Something to eat?"

"No," she muttered.

"Kate, I-" he didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to make it better, and it hurt him that he had to watch her in pain.

"Please," she begged. "Castle I just…" she turned her head to look at him. She noticed the concern written clearly across his face, and she sighed heavily. Why couldn't Josh be here, looking like that? Why did Castle have to be so unbelievably supportive at every opportunity? It was hard to measure any man next to him, when he seemed so perfect.

"I got it," he nodded. "I'll just sit here."

She reached out and took hold of his hand. She appreciated everything he did, but sometimes knowing there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her, made it that much harder.

The two of them sat in silence.

Beckett didn't know if her father was going to be okay, but she did know that Castle wouldn't be leaving her side. She wouldn't have to go through this alone.

"Kate Beckett!" a voce called.

Beckett jumped from her chair and looked directly down the corridor where a man in scrubs was walking to meet her. "Yes," she stated.

"You're father is fine," he told her gently.

She felt the relief leave her body in a long sigh. "Oh thank you," she cried. "Thank you."

"You'll be able to see him in a little while," he informed her.

She nodded. The doctor walked away and she turned to Castle, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him. He brought his arms around her waist and held her, as long as she clung to him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"I didn't do anything," he said.

Beckett knew better.

_I hope you liked the ending, and thank you all for the encouragement! =D_


	3. Sucky suck face

_Blame this once-was-one-shot on Bella Paige, she encouraged me to keep me going despite my busy schedule and I had to rise to the occasion, because I do love a challenge. =D_

Castle walked into the precinct the following morning with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had thought of nothing else but Beckett all night, and the way she had held onto him in the apartment when her Father was in hospital. He recalled the way she had hugged him in the hospital when she had discovered he was out of harm's way.

Castle had waited with her at the hospital until she was ready to go home, and then he hailed a cab and made sure she got to the door safely.

So he was expecting some measure of appreciation as he walked into the bullpen. Instead, what he was subjected to was the image of his partner and her new boyfriend sucking face. He groaned outwardly, unable to help himself and then looked away. He felt physically ill having to watch that scene, like he was researching for one of his steamy "love scenes" in his latest Nikki Heat book. Castle did not want Nikki in steamy scenes with anyone but Rook.

"Morning Castle," Ryan greeted as he walked passed him and into the break room.

Castle looked back at Beckett, to find her still stuck in the same position, her arms now draped around his neck as if he was her life raft. "Gah," he spat looking away again. He followed after Ryan and waltzed into the break room.

"What's up?" Ryan asked casually as he poured himself a coffee.

"When did sucky-suck face get here?" Castle asked.

"About ten minutes ago," his friend replied. "You couldn't pry the two apart with pliers."

"Great," Castle muttered.

"There a problem?" Ryan inquired sipping on the hot liquid.

"Nope," Castle denied. "Why would there be?"

"Cause you have that look," he noted.

"What look?"

"You know the 'what does she see in the guy' look."

"I'm fine," he snapped. Castle helped himself to a cup of coffee, and in an attempt he managed to spill half the content all over the floor. "Damn it…" he groaned.

"Sure there's nothing you need to get off your chest?" Ryan baited.

Castle looked up at him, and gave him that hated dagger look, before he took a cloth and started cleaning up the spill.

"Right, I'll um… I'll leave you to it," Ryan said cautiously.

After Castle had cleaned up the mess, he returned to the bullpen with a fresh cup of coffee. By then Josh was nowhere to be seen and Beckett was going over some files on her desk.

Castle gingerly approached her. "Hey, Beckett."

"Hi," she replied casually not moving her eyes from the page she was scanning.

"I saw you with your boyfriend," he said. "I figure you have rules against fraternizing in public places like work…" his tone was somewhat bitter.

Beckett completely ignored the comment. "This case file says that our victim was HIV positive," she explained.

Castle rolled his eyes. He hated it when she did that.

_I shan't abandon this story… but don't know when I'll have a chance to upload… so if you think it's worth it, alert the story and I'll be sure to work on it in between takes. =D_

_WHY is Beckett being cool? _


	4. Bad mood

_A/N: I think this chapter is a bit angst-y I must admit. *blush* sorry about that. I'll try and fix it later on but there might be another two or so before fluff returns. =D_

Kate's attitude was driving Castle to the bug house. He was frustrated. He was angry. He was bitter. Since he had made such an effort at the hospital, since he had been there for her, her attitude had changed dramatically. He was sick of it. The day finally drew to a close and for once he was actually relieved to go home.

"Later guys," he called over his shoulder. He didn't even bother saying goodbye to Beckett, she had crossed the hallway to meet and greet sucky-suck face. Castle didn't turn around and watch this time, he wasn't sure he could stand seeing them suck-face.

Ryan and Esposito waved him goodbye and they all went their separate ways.

A while later, Castle came through the front door of his humble abode and slammed the door behind him, his frustration still lingering.

"Darling," Martha announced happily. "Bad day?"

He sighed heavily. "Nope, it was peachy keen."

"Uh-oh," she groaned. His mother knew well enough when he used that tone with that phrase that his day had been anything but that.

Castle made his way to the kitchen and opened the freezer, reaching for the chocolate ice-cream.

"Okay, hold it," Martha warned. "Let's talk before you eat yourself to death!"

"I don't care," Castle grumbled.

Alexis descended the stairs. "Hey, dad," she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Castle managed a weak smile. "Thanks kid, I needed that."

Alexis smiled and leaned over to kiss him again.

"I feel better," he insisted.

"Good," she grinned. "How's Beckett?"

Castle clenched his jaw in response, and the action did not go unnoticed by his daughter.

"What did she do?" she frowned.

"Nothing," he muttered. "She simply- nevermind," Castle didn't see the point in telling her daughter the ins and outs of his mental thinking when it came to Kate Beckett. Alexis was better settled from that part of his life. Castle swung his arms around his daughter's shoulders and pulled her in for a side hug.

"Dad, I'm mature enough to know how your mind works, I'm pretty sure whatever it is, I can handle it," she insisted.

Castle still hesitated. "It's really fine."

"Dad!" she whined.

"I don't want to talk about it," he stated matter-of-factly. "It doesn't matter. Want some ice-cream?" he offered.

Alexis opened the drawer and retrieved two spoons, and handed one to her father.

"You want some Grams?"

"No, thank you, I'm watching my weight," Martha replied patting her tummy.

Alexis and Castle exchanged looks, and then without further thought, they dug into the ice-cream.

_This is just a little glimpse into Castle's mood. =D_


	5. Silent treatment

_A/N: Bear with me… this chapter is a little heartbreaking. I wasn't feeling very happy at the time of writing this, and you can easily pick that up through this chapter. =D_

Ignoring the bubbles in her stomach, Beckett concentrated on the files in her hand, as her eyes scanned the page. She felt his eyes on her the instant he waltzed into the precinct, so confident that she wanted to scream at him. How he managed to hold himself so well seemed to rub her up the wrong way. Beckett wanted to be confident; she wanted to be able to look at him without her stomach doing summersaults. She understood what he had done for her, when he had stayed at her side at the hospital. She appreciated it… she depended on him, so much so it scared her.

Beckett was with Josh, and Josh was a good guy. Right?

Even Beckett couldn't convince herself that the choice she made was the right one. Ignoring Castle for days didn't seem to help her situation any, but she had been hoping. Her attempts were done in vain. Beckett was certain that she hurt herself more than she hurt him, when she ignored him.

Castle made her so nervous.

"Hey guys," Castle greeted the boys as he strolled into the bullpen, smug and happy.

Beckett wanted to cry. But she was a tough cop, she didn't show emotions, she had stopped showing emotions a long time ago. She waited for Castle to acknowledge her, so she could, this time make a response.

"Anything fun and exciting for me today?" Castle addressed Ryan.

"When do you get the time to write, castle?" Esposito asked, amazed at the hours he put into the precinct. It was a wonder he could keep his head above water. The very idea that he had a daughter, baffled Esposito. When did he find the time? Esposito barely managed to make time for Lanie, and work… and when he wasn't doing either of them (no pun intended) he was sleeping.

"When I'm bored," he grinned.

"Bored?" Ryan questioned.

Castle shook his head and laughed. "You're easy, no wonder your girlfriend-"

"AH!" Ryan warned. "Don't do it…"

Castle gestured a zipper across his mouth and pretended to lock it.

"There's a good boy."

Castle pulled a face.

Beckett silently watched the scene, surprised that Castle hadn't even uttered a simply hello, in her direction.

"Anyone want a coffee?" he offered.

"I'll have one," Beckett responded, hoping to get some sort of acknowledgement.

"No one?" Castle said raising an eyebrow at Ryan and Esposito.

Beckett felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach when without even a glance in her direction, castle stalked into the break room.

Castle wanted to play THAT game, did he?

_Poor Kate… did she deserve it? Would you call it "a taste of your own medicine" ?_

_The opinion is yours… feel free to share it. =D_


	6. Interrogation

_A/N: This chapter is dedicated to __**BlueTigress**__ who gave me an idea, which motivated me to write this chapter. I will also acknowledge __**killmypatience **__who begged for a chapter longer than my average 500 words. So this is for you as well. I hope it was worth it. =D_

It had been a week of complete silent treatment… Detective Kate Beckett VS Author Richard castle and neither one of them looked to be backing down anytime soon. Esposito and Ryan had had endless conversations about how to make the two of them break their childish game of not talking, but they had gotten nowhere, at times both the boys had refused to answer a question one of them made, in hope that either one of them would reply and a conversation would begin… they were even begging for an argument at this point.

As a last resort, Esposito had mentioned the annoying factor to Lanie, one night in her apartment, and the two of them conquered up an idea, Esposito called Ryan to fill him in on the details. Their plan was ready to go.

As always Beckett was the first to arrive at the precinct, she went straight to the break room to make herself a coffee from the machine that Castle had purchased for them within a few weeks of his arrival. Beckett wouldn't be able to stand instant coffee now that she had been used to this one, like Castle had once referred to it as battery acid… and something else, she couldn't recall.

Within minutes she was pouring over files at her desk.

Castle waltzed in half an hour later, with his head held high and a look of determination on his face. He greeted the guys as he always did, slapping them a high five after a mention of his "saucy, passionate" night with Gina, and then he did his best to pretend that Kate Beckett was just another officer of the law, who happened to be in the same precinct that he was in.

Beckett did the same, pouring over the files and pretending that she had not noticed the moment Castle walked in. She stopped a moment and looked up, careful to have her focus on either one of her boys, and not on Castle. "Our victim was found hanging from her ceiling fan, with rope around her neck and a pair of panties stuffed in her mouth…" she explained.

"Why don't you share one of your theories with Beckett, castle?" Ryan explained, willing to give them both one more chance before they took it upon themselves to take drastic action. "I'm sure you are just bursting to tell us…" he said smugly.

Castle glared at him, before he turned his head away, saying nothing. Oh, he had ideas alright, but none he was willing to share to sell himself out and break the silent treatment for the sake of the boys.

It was another five minutes later when Ryan called Castle to the interrogation room. "I need to talk to you about something, and I can't do it in front of everyone… it's embarrassing," he said shyly.

Castle was instantly intrigued. He could do with the distraction. He had noticed that Beckett hadn't returned to her desk, and wondered if she had gone off to see Lanie on her own. Usually, it was something to two of them did together, no matter how angry at him she was, and it happened often enough. But this past week, was putting a strain on the partnership, Castle wasn't sure how much longer he could be bothered shadowing her. It wasn't like he needed a lot of research anymore. He had more than enough to understand the character of Nikki Heat.

He eagerly followed Ryan through to one of the empty interrogation rooms. Ryan widened the door and Castle turned to go in, but his feet stopped in the doorway, when he saw Beckett seated at the table. He got a sinking feeling that he was being set-up. He turned his gaze to Ryan and glared at him, unimpressed with his betrayal. He always thought the boys were supposed to stick together, so much for that theory.

But before Castle could consider his next step, Ryan shoved him hard into the room and Castle stumbled, unprepared for the action. He braced himself against the table, so he didn't fall and as he looked back at Ryan, he watched as he slammed the door, trapping him and Beckett inside.

"Guys," he roared running to the door and pulling on the handle. No luck. It was locked. "This is NOT amusing. Open the damn door!"

"The two of you have got to sort out your differences," Esposito's voice responded through the closed door. "We will open the door when the two of you start behaving like adults."

"Beckett I have to say," Ryan called out. "I expected more of you. Castle is immature all the time it's his nature, but you… you are a lady most of the time. I'm disappointed."

Castle considered that one point for him, and zero for Beckett. He was winning already.

Beckett's mouth formed an O shape as she finally realized that Esposito having an issue with Lanie was nothing more than a hoax. She pushed back her chair and stepped up to the door, still unable to look at Castle.

"Open the door!" she demanded. "I'm not kidding. This is not funny."

"It's not meant to be," Ryan responded. "It's an intervention."

"I swear Montgomery is going to hear about this!" Beckett threatened.

On the other side of the door, the man frowned, so sure the voice was familiar. He flicked the switch to the two-way mirror, and saw both Beckett and Castle locked in the interrogation room, both looking sour and unhappy.

"Whose bright idea was this?" the Captain asked the boys.

"Lanie's, Sir," Esposito answered lowering his head and hoping that he would get nothing more than a slap on the wrist. He couldn't afford to be given a few days vacation with docked pay… Lanie was not a cheap date.

But to both Esposito and Ryan's surprise, the Captain smiled and slapped him on the back. "Remind me to buy her some flowers," he said. "And don't let either one of them out until both of them are talking civilly. Got it?"

"Got it, sir?" Ryan nodded.

Ryan and Esposito exchanged looks.

The Captain returned to his office.

… … … …

Beckett and Castle had been locked in the room for one hour, twelve minutes, thirteen seconds and counting. Beckett was livid. She had work to do. Neither one of them had looked at each other since they'd been thrown into what felt like a prison cell to both of them.

Finally, Castle was the one to make eye contact, and he was the first one to talk. "I don't know what your problem is, I'm the one who should be mad!" he stated.

This instantly got Kate's back up and she turned on him angrily. "YOU? You were the one who started this whole damn thing. Acting like the childish nine year old I always saw you as," her tone was bitter.

"Well excuse me for responding to your cool indifference to my feelings," he shot back.

"I wasn't cool," she denied.

"Please, you were like ice-woman and winter rolled into one."

"That doesn't even make sense," she said rolling her eyes at his choice of words.

"Yeah, well, neither does your face!"

Castle instantly felt an attack of guilt. That was uncalled for, even for his standards. But he made no comment about it. Beckett was being just as difficult.

"That's real mature, Castle," she groaned. "But then that's always how you are, isn't it?"

"Oh, gee that's rich, coming from Mrs. Serious."

"My job is serious," she stated angrily. "I can't afford to be childish like you. I'm sorry that we aren't all writers who go by our own schedule. But that's just the way it is."

"Oh except when you want to apply the rules to suit yourself. You are openly willingly to make-out with sucky suck-face in front of the whole bullpen!" Castle was now hurt as well as angry.

Beckett's face reddened with embarrassment at the charges against her. "Oh right, your innocent are you? Don't think I don't see you do it to me every chance you get?"

"What does that mean? I don't bring Gina here."

"Don't play dumb," Beckett snapped. "Don't think I don't notice that every time you mention a night with your ex-wife, you look in my direction for my reaction. I'm not stupid, contrary to what you think."

"I never said you were stupid, just ungrateful."

Beckett scoffed. "Ungrateful?"

"Yes. ._ful_," he spat.

"How am I ungrateful?" she demanded.

Castle shook his head and said nothing.

It took Beckett a moment to realize what he meant, and she lowered her head in defeat. "I said thank you at the hospital," _and I hugged you like there was no tomorrow_, she thought silently.

"Yes, you did," he said unhappily.

"What else did you want from me?"

Castle locked eyes with her, and for a moment he was determined to hold her gaze, hoping that his eyes would tell her everything he couldn't put into words. It was strange how at times, a writer so successful, became so unintelligent when real emotions were involved.

Beckett didn't seem to get what he was trying to say, and when she unlocked eyes with him and turned to move away, he siezed the opportunity to grab hold of her arm and pull her, almost violently, against him, his arms encircling her waist firmly so that she couldn't disconnect herself from him, if she wanted to.

But she didn't, the couldn't muster the will to do anything but stand still, and when he inched his face closer to hers, she made no objections. The thought of their "other partners" was long forgotten as he leaned down and gently brushed his lips seductively over hers.

The kiss seemed to suspend time, as her hands moved through his hair, eager to pull him closer, forgetting that she had built up walls to protect herself from this very thing.

Castle somehow managed to pull his lips from hers and untangle her body from his. He took a step back. "Maybe I have a little more to learn about Nikki Heat, than I thought, huh?" he smiled stunned by his own actions. Kissing her was like ALL of his Christmases coming together in one.

She shrugged indifferently. "I guess so."

"I might come in tomorrow then…" he replied.

"Tomorrow," she said before stalking out the door.

He took a moment to gather himself before he followed her out. Damn, how she managed to remain so calm, he'd never know. His entire body trembled from the experience and he knew his face was flushed. He'd have to learn some pointers… as soon as his head stopped spinning.

_Can I get a WOO HOO? I have to say that took concentration to write THAT much in one shot… this is like 3 chapters in one… you know that, right? I hope you are grateful for that._

_Now… any thoughts you wanna share about that… how are they going to respond now? And did Ryan and Esposito see them… or did they get bored of waiting and get back to work?_


	7. Everyone knows

_A/N: And you find out here and now… who unlocked the door! =D_

On the other side of the door, was Lanie Parish, a knowing grin spread widely across her face. She had been the one to unlock the door. Of course she hadn't made an attempt with the lock until she watched their mouths connect and that loving smile grace their faces.

She was still grinning widely, when Kate Beckett came out of the interrogation room, Castle a few steps behind.

"Shut up!" Beckett warned her friend as she pushed passed her and gingerly made her way to her desk.

Castle wore a look of seriousness as he broke direction, and wandered into the break room.

… … … …

Ryan leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest. "And neither of them have said a word?"

"Zip!" Lanie stated. "Nada. Nothing."

"I can't believe we missed it," Esposito groaned outwardly. "All this time and we turn away before the crunch time. Damn it," he muttered. "Was there tongue?"

Ryan's eyes widened in curiosity.

Lanie stroked her boyfriend's arm sympathetically. "It's okay… I'll give you the re-play later," she winked.

Esposito grinned.

"Come on, man…. Not on!" Ryan scoffed.

… … … …

Castle finally got the guts to leave the break room, and leisurely made his way to her desk, where he took occupancy in his usual chair. Beckett seemed to tense instantly in her chair.

"Hey…" he smiled nervously. He wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation.

Beckett cleared her throat and shifted in her chair. "I think we're about done for the day," she announced.

"Really?" Castle asked.

"Yeah," she avoided his gaze.

"Okay. See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

Castle took a moment to stand up from the seat and looked carefully down at Beckett. "I um…I er… I- nevermind," he muttered shaking his head at himself as he walked away.

Beckett felt bad for him, but she had her own guilt to deal with. Beckett didn't cheat on her boyfriends, she never had, never would… except she did. Beckett cheated on Josh, she had knowingly commitment a sin and taken her own desire over the feelings of her own boyfriend.

How would she ever face Josh now?

… … …

The three of them were still standing around, pretending to be hashing out a case, when in fact they were overhearing Castle and Beckett's conversation.

"Fifty bucks says neither of them go home alone?" Ryan offered.

"Are you referring to their other halves?" Lanie frowned. "Cause the way they were kissing in the interrogation room, I can tell you, they wouldn't even remember the names of them had they been shoved in front of their faces."

Esposito shrugged. "I don't know…" he said doubtfully. "I know Beckett and she isn't exactly what you'd call a sharer. I reckon it might take a bit more convincing than a single kiss in the interrogation room."

"I'll take that bet?" Ryan stepped in.

Esposito grinned and pressed a fifty dollar bill into Ryan's palm.

"Lanie?" Both boys eyed her suspiciously.

"You are ON!"

_Yeah, yeah… I know its short… as my friend says, NAG, NAG!_

_Has everyone placed their bets… hehehe… __**THAT NIGHT… the next day… or a week or more**__?_


	8. Josh

_A/N: Thank you for all your amazing support, I appreciate it, and __**Bella Paige**__, for your idea… call it stealing if you like, but the credit is yours, when I finally take it. =D_

Beckett was trembling when she came face to face with Josh again, the guilt settled in her stomach like a hive of bees, reminding her of her infidelity. Beckett shifted on her feet and played with her hands, as she avoided his gaze.

"Hey," he leaned in to kiss her mouth, but she turned her head and only managed to kiss her cheek. Again, she felt bad about this, but she knew that once he learnt of her betrayal, he would be grateful that he didn't kiss her mouth, she was sure.

"Josh, we have to talk…" she said nervously.

He frowned. "Four words a man never wants to hear!"

His comment only added to her guilt. Josh was a bad boy, he was fun, he was exciting, but he was also mature and content, he knew what he wanted from life and he went out and got it. Beckett was here, with the intention of breaking up with him for a man with the maturity of a nine year old on a sugar rush. What was she thinking?

His kisses… they were like heaven, and the mere thought of never having his arms encircling his waist and holding her so tightly, it took her breath away. After he had disconnected herself from him, she managed to hold herself long enough to walk away, but she wasn't sure how the hell she did it. It was like she was running on autopilot, there was no emotion, no feeling, it was like he had sucked the very life from her with one action. She had been kissed many times during her life, but never once the way that Richard Castle kissed her, and she had no control over the fact that she wanted more of him, all of him… whatever he was willing to give her, she would willingly take.

_Damn it, what the hell is wrong with me?_ She said silently questioning her sanity. _I feel like a nine year old in the school playground. _

"I think you are an amazing man, Josh, I do…" and she meant that, but she wasn't sure that she was the amazing woman who completed him.

"But?" he questioned.

"I betrayed you," she stated. "I cheated on you. I hate that I did that, I hate that I was the very person I swore I'd never be… but I kissed someone else."

"A kiss?' he smiled looking amused.

"Yes," she nodded.

"That's all?"

Beckett frowned. "Well… yeah, but-"

"A kiss is nothing," he laughed.

Beckett knew differently. One kiss from Castle was more exciting than everything Josh had ever made her feel, combined into one. A kiss was more than it should have been, a kiss from Castle was more than she knew how to handle.

"It's not about the kiss," she realized as the words come out her mouth. "I don't think that-"

Josh scoffed. "You're in love with the guy?"

Beckett shrugged. "I wish I wasn't," she stated. Castle was not her usual type. He was too immature, he was unpredictable, but at the same time he was thoughtful, and beautiful and he cared about her SO much, so much so that she didn't know what she ever did to deserve it. "I am SO sorry, Josh… I would understand if you wanted to bitch about me, call me every name you can possible think of-"

"What's the point?" he shrugged. "In the end I don't get you, he does."

Beckett's guilt increased. "I'm sorry…"

"Does he know?"

Beckett shook her head quietly.

"It won't be a shock," he said. "I've seen the way he looks at you, at the way he looks at me… I'm the enemy."

"I didn't know that," she said honestly. "I mean, I know… I know he plays games and he flirts and he-"

"He is in love with you!" he stated matter-of-factly.

It wasn't the first time she had heard that. But she was afraid to believe it sometimes. Castle was a player, he went through woman like a pack of cards, never really caring too much about them. Could Beckett believe that he was different with her?

Josh shook his head. "I think this is my cue to go," he said.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You said that," he replied coolly. She didn't blame him. All the blame lay with her, she didn't have to kiss Castle, she could have resisted she could have stepped back and slapped his face for trying. Instead, she had responded, she had entwined her fingers in his hair. She had parted her lips to deepen the kiss, she had allowed her tongue to taste his.

No, Kate Beckett was guilty. She was a grown woman, and she was responsible for her own actions.

Josh walked away then, leaving Beckett alone with her guilt.

Now what was she supposed to do? Did she walk into work tomorrow as if nothing happened, did she pull Castle aside and tell her that she ended things with Josh? Did she closed the interrogation room with him inside and start the head-spinning kiss all over again, and hope that he just got the point?

Beckett took her phone in her hands, and scrolled down to her speed dial list, and lingered on the first one. Did she send him a message? Her fingers roamed the keypad…

_As usual this was not the way I planned it originally, but you know how it works sometimes *shrugs* the writing has a life of its own. =D_

_Did Beckett send a message? What is castle doing?_


	9. Text message

_A/N: Hehehe, I kinda thought this was slightly cute on Lanie's part, but who doesn't LOVE her? _

**I DID SOMTHG STUPD! **

Beckett allowed time before she expected a reply. She was just walking the stairs to her apartment building when she heard the tone of the text message buzz in her pocket. She fumbled to retrieve, hoping that her friend had some good advice. She could sure as hell use some.

**TELL ME THE STUPD THNG WAS DUMPNG SUCKY SUCK-FACE!**

Beckett rolled her eyes. Did Castle manage to get the MO out on Josh's new nickname?

**Y *rolls eyes* **She replied.

Beckett let herself into her apartment just in time for the ringing tone of the phone to go off. She had a personalized ring tone for each member of her team, and this was Lanie's.

"I couldn't very well keep him after all that's happened," she stated into the phone, without so much as a simple greeting.

"So you told him the truth?" Lanie questioned.

"Of course," she groaned.

"Because you couldn't stand the guilt,"

"Exactly."

"Girl, don't lie to me!" Lanie snapped.

"What are you talking about, you just said-"

"I don't care what I said. You don't have to lie about it. Girl, you think I'm stupid or something?"

"You," she grinned to herself. "Never."

"I can do without the smart-ass remarks."

Beckett laughed.

There was a pregnant pause.

"You need company?" Lanie asked.

"I don't know…" she said honestly. "I haven't told Castle. Do you think I should?"

"Hell yeah!" she responded without thought.

Beckett sighed heavily. She was afraid of that. "And what exactly am I supposed to say?"

"How 'bout, that kiss was damn heated, and since I ended things with Josh, you better show me what else you got?" Lanie sounded pleased with her answer.

Beckett laughed.

"I'm serious!" Lanie stated.

"I know," she responded.

… … … …

Castle dug into the ice-cream, scooping a large spoonful of creamy chocolate fudge and popped it into his mouth, savoring the taste on his tongue. He was wallowing in self-pity. He had already skipped ahead of the book, so to speak, and knowing Beckett as she was, he knew that she would be ignoring what had happened between them. She'd find a way to make it disappear, never really making mention of it, until she had Castle convinced that it was no more than one of his deluded fantasies.

He was feeling sorry for himself.

Castle felt torn. On one hand, he had managed to get a kiss from Detective Kate Beckett – the woman he had been pinning for, since he started shadowing her. And the kiss was damn good, even she couldn't deny that much! If it was good for one, it most certainly had to be good for the other, right?

But he had a girlfriend, just as his beloved Beckett had sucky suck-face. What would she do about him? No doubt she'd find a way to keep the guy. He seemed like every woman's dream. How could Castle ever match up to him, and his bad boy image?

There was no fighting the inevitable.

Gina had barely crossed his mind since the kiss.

Suddenly the sound of a text message buzzed from his jacket pocket and he reached in to retrieve it. His stomach flipped when he realized it was from Beckett, he took a deep breath before opening it, and then frowned at the written text.

**UR A JERK!**

Should he have expected anything different? Castle had been out of line, he knew, when he pulled her in for a kiss, but as far as he was concerned, she made no move to retreat. So she painted him as the bad guy. What else was new?

He allowed his fingers to move over the keys with accurate speed, as he responded.

**I KNO! R U VERY MAD?**

He needed to know at least, where she stood, so he was prepared when they came face to face. the response was instant.

**Y!**

Castle rolled his eyes. He was in the doghouse.

**IM NOT SORRY!**

He replied, and he meant it.

_Hehehehe, now where does this leave them now?_

_Don't you just LOVE Castle's response!_


	10. Confrontation

_A/N: This one goes out to __**Bella Paige**__, because she allowed me to steal (yes, I know you said I can borrow it, but stealing sounds SO much better) this idea. I made sure it was a little longer than my average chapters, but sorry I couldn't make it longer than this. =D_

Beckett decided to get a taxi to Castle's apartment. She didn't worry that Alexis and Martha might be there, she knew them well enough that they would side with her instead of castle anyway. When she reached the door, her hands were shaking, more from anger than anything else.

She pounded on the door.

She could hear the footsteps inside, making their way to the door. They didn't sound like Castle's footsteps, which she had heard for the last two years of her life, whenever he stalked across the bullpen in his heavy boots.

The door swung open and there Alexis stood.

"Hello, Detective Beckett," she smiled warmly.

Still shaking, Beckett made a reply. "How many times have I got to tell you, Alexis? Call me, Kate!"

She blushed. "Sorry. Dad's in his Study," she gestured, widening the door for Beckett to walk through. She stepped in, glancing around as if she expected to see him elsewhere. "Whatever he did, I'm sure he's sorry. He's been eating A LOT of chocolate ice-cream."

Beckett frowned. She didn't know what that meant, and at the moment she couldn't bring herself to change the subject, she had one thing on her mind – to yell at Richard Castle! "He's not sorry," she stated as she crossed the room to where Alexis had indicated he was.

Instead on knocking on the door, she pushed it open and stepped inside, slamming it behind her.

Behind the desk, Castle jumped with fright at the sudden interruption and loud noise. His eyes narrowed in on her when he saw that it was Beckett. He did not rise from the chair. He felt the need to use anything he could so that she didn't notice him trembling.

"What are you-" he began.

"NO! I'm talking!" she snapped.

Castle leaned back in the black swivel chair and cupped his ear with his hand, in mockery. "I'm listening."

Beckett pressed her lips into a thin line before answering. "Is there ever a time when you don't screw things up, Castle?"

Castle raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"You ruined it for me. Again!" she yelled. "I was with this great guy and you come along and do something stupid, like you always do and you leave me to clean up the mess!"

"I never left you to clean up anything," he said defensively.

"Oh, really?" she challenged.

"Yeah, really! I didn't see you pulling away, _Kate_!" he barked.

"I had it made," she spat. "I had this great guy who got me, who understand what type of person I am, and he doesn't get all up in my space like you do."

"That's why you love me so much?" he smirked.

Beckett reached out and slapped his arm.

"Oww," he moaned rubbing the spot where he had been striked.

"You turned my life upside down, Castle." Beckett was struggling with her tears. "Do you know how hard it was after you left… when you went to the Hamptons with _her_? I hated watching you get on the elevator and disappearing for months. It hurt… and then you just waltz back in like nothing happened. I was in love with you, Rick."

His eyes widened at her words. He hadn't realized there was such a strong reaction. He knew that she felt something, but he had no idea it was something this strong. He felt torn, he wanted to reach out to her then, but he was afraid that she'd slap him again.

"Everything was going fine… my head was above water. Josh was a good guy."

"If he's so good, what are you doing here?' he asked coldly, the mere mention of Josh being a good guy, made castle squirm, he couldn't stand to hear how good he was, or how much he made Beckett happy. He wanted to be the one to do all those things.

"I broke it off with Josh, you idiot!" she screamed. "That's twice now!"

"Twice what?" he snapped back.

"I try to change my situation… FOR YOU!"

"When did you do it before?" he asked completely clueless, and unwilling to read between the lines.

Beckett shook her head, and contained the urge to slap him upside the head. "Do you try to mess things up, or does it just happen naturally?"

"It's a skill," he responded.

"I don't understand. Everything was going fine, and then the interrogation room… why did you do it?" she needed to understand that.

"Because I couldn't stop myself," he said quietly. "You asked me what else I wanted from you, and I told you… just not in so many words," he admitted.

"What is it you want exactly, Rick?" she wanted a clear answer. "A kiss every now and then in the interrogation room or-"

He slipped his arms around her waist, drawing her forward, and Beckett seemed to be too weak to refrain. "The woman threw a hair dryer at my head," Castle admitted. "It was like something out of _Parent Trap_!"

Beckett suppressed a smile.

"I did before I kissed you. I knew when we were at the hospital. I knew when you hugged me, when I was holding you… I knew- I knew that I didn't ever want to hold anyone else but you, and then I kissed you and you can't tell me that it wasn't like heaven," he teased.

"It wasn't like heaven," she said quickly. She didn't sound convincing.

Castle leaned over slightly and grazed her cheek with his lips. Her eyes automatically closed, burning the memory into her mind.

Beckett opened her eyes and looked at him. "What happens now, Rick?"

"What happens?"

"Yeah, you tell me, because I have this ache," Beckett admitted. "Whenever you and I are apart, and I can't seem to fight it anymore. I try really hard."

"Me too," he said softly. "I eat chocolate ice-cream."

"I cry," she blushed.

Castle reached out a finger and traced it gently down her cheek. "Don't cry anymore, Kate. I won't hurt you again. I promise," and he looked sincere.

"Good," she nodded believing him.

"I love you, too, you know?" he smiled.

"I know," she smiled knowingly.

"Good."

He kissed her then, and if they thought the kiss in the interrogation room was like heaven, then this was a whole other ball game. Beckett tangled her fingers in his hair, as she attempted to get as close to him as humanly possible. Castle tightened his grip around her waist, as his tongue explored her mouth.

Time seemed endless.

_Thanks for sticking with it guys… you're amazing! _

_I'm sure this won't be the last one… casket is too cute to pass up!_

_=D_


End file.
